The Super Wise Speak-Space
Greetings & Ábọrú Àbọyè
Ifakemi Abimbola
...is who I am. IFA reached out to me in 2014. My Itefa was performed in 2017 in Ibadan, Nigeria. I am the spiritual daughter of the late Chief Iya N’ifa Ifarinoola Efunyale Mother Taylor. I am Iyalode Egbekemi. Iyami Aje. I am Esutoki, devotee of Èṣù.
Ìwà Pẹ̀lẹ́
...a forever student and a most humble and gracious Iyanifa. I am but a baby with regard to my personal journey.
My Community
...is comprised of a delicate and divinely guided network of Babalawo, Iyanifa, Wise-elders, Ancestors, Spirit-guides, Orisha, and Olódùmarè above all else.
The Super Wise Speak-Space
S1 E3: The Super Wise Self Worth Episode
In today's podcast we dig into the journey toward positive self image and self worth.
Are you honest with yourself about how worthy you truly are?
Are you selling yourself short?
The Super Wise also spreads powerful healing energy to those who need it most.
Join the converstion!
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Speaker A: Welcome back to the super wise. It's your favorite spiritual sister to the Super Wise intelligent, here to bring you some super good conversation. Welcome back. Welcome back. In today's episode, we will be discussing self worth. And y'all please know I am so tired. It's almost 11:00 p.m.. But this topic was deeply on my heart because it's been something that I've been thinking about personally for probably the last three weeks or so. There was a situation that occurred in my own life, and I recently had to cut a person off who was very dear to me. And it hurt because I had to actively choose myself over the person and their lack of consideration for me as an individual and for me and my emotional space, right? And one of the things that this person said to me in one of our previous conversations was that I was so worthy. And in my mind, the first space that I went to was the space of ego. Because I'm like, yeah, I know I'm worthy. You don't have to tell me that. I already know that. But it was very interesting to me after everything was said and done and I revisited that conversation in my mind, and for me, I was like, if you could see my worth, then why didn't you treat me in accordance with the worth that you know I have? And I was so upset. I mean, I was livid because I was like, did you just waste my time? Were you just here for me to stroke ego and all the other egoic things that I thought? And then when I calmed down, it really dawned on me that the person who I'm speaking about right now did not reflect the same amount of self worth within themselves. And it dawned on me that it was never really about me. It was always about them and the inability to cope with what self worth was, what self work requires, and what loving self really does mean. And that's really strong because in order for us to have the most efficient type of connection with ourselves, with spirit, with other people, with animals, with nature, we have to have some semblance of what self worth is and what it means. And then that flows over into love. And it's so hard to have a healthy sense of self worth because balance in the society that we live in right now is really hard to come by for men and women in different ways. I'm thinking about and the person who I'm talking about, the person who I was discussing earlier, mentioning earlier, is a guy. And I was really thinking about men and the spaces that men have to be emotional and the spaces that men have to feel safe and vulnerable when it comes to them acknowledging the fact that maybe they don't have the healthiest sense of self worth without there being a stigma of weakness tied to it. And I noticed with this person that as capable as they were, if someone you know how people poke fun at you, you know how the worst thing some men, the worst joke that some men can have told about them is oh man, you were punk, you this, you that basically insinuating that they are weak. And with this person I find that I just paid attention to certain things, how certain things happen and I noticed that they would become very aggressive about defending their toughness. And I'm like that says so much because if you know who you are and if you are confident in your ability, you don't have to prove anything to anybody. Even if it wasn't a joke. Somebody can call you any name out of any book from. They could just make up a name, pull it out of the sky, it doesn't matter because you are solid in yourself. And I started thinking about what we can do as a collective of people to help each other, realizing help each other in the process in the journey of coming into positive, healthy self worth. A lot of people want to say you can't do that for a person. They just have to know that they are worthy. I mean, none of us, not one man, not one woman is an island unto themselves, right? That's a very true saying. And sometimes you need to have people reflect the goodness of you back to you in a healthy way to help you see. Sometimes it's the jump start you need to help you see that you are capable of vibrating at a higher level. Now, sometimes it's the work that prevents people from actually walking into the light of their greatness. And I'm going to stick to the example that I gave earlier because I think that's the case. A lot of folks have been so accustomed to behaving in a way that it becomes their shield, it becomes their coping mechanism, it's where they are comfortable as dysfunctional as it is. And the hardest part about that is that these people know that they are low vibrational beings but because they have been good at being a low vibrational being and that has been their expectation of themselves, they would rather stay in a safe space of knowing that they are dysfunctional versus the unknown. That occurs when you actually break free of that low vibration and you embark upon the journey of doing work necessary to heal yourself. And it's really hard because some people are comfortable being uncomfortable in their trauma and some people haven't even begun to delve into the depth of their shadow because they're afraid of what they will find there. And it's hard because some of these people come in the most beautiful packages and it's so easy for a light being to see the light in others. And I can attest to this because in using this person as an example still me coming from light the first thing that I'm going to see in any other person, not just him, is light because that's what I'm attracted to. And I think it kind of freaked him out that I was able to see past all of his mistakes because none of us are perfect. And I was able to see past the facade and the mask and call him out for wearing one and telling him that, hey, there's actually something quite beautiful underneath all of that if you would allow yourself to step into it. And it made him feel really good to know that someone saw those things in him because they were they were buried deep down inside. But the responsibility and the line is drawn when a person acknowledges their light but makes the conscious decision to remain in the dark. And the way that eats away at self worth is that they become disgusted every single time they make a bad decision. Every single time they make, let's say an unsavory decision. Good and bad is subjective. But they do. They become disgusted with themselves each and every time. They succumb to the the enticing familiarity of vibrating lowly. They know what's going to happen there and many times they want to do better. But gosh it's the fear of the unknown associated with succeeding and God forbid they fail. Oh my goodness. The last thing that type of person wants to do is fail at being good. And it's okay because this is the thing about life. It's a journey and you will not get it right all the time. Matter of fact, you might get it right for a long time and then something happens and everything comes undone. I've been there before. But the bottom line is you are still worthy enough to get back up and to build yourself up again and to get to a place that was better than the place you thought you came from. That's what life is, right? It's just a constant journey and evolving and vibing higher and attaining more knowledge and wisdom and understanding. Because at the end of the day, for most of us, if we allow it to happen we will have learned more, gained more, achieved more than we know what to do with. If we let it happen that way, we have to submit to the process. And when it comes to self worth and self work, the love that we wish to receive is a direct result of us doing the work to better ourselves. When you do the work, when you put in that work to make better decisions and you make a habit of making better decisions it's like working out, right? You know you need to do it and every day you say you're going to do it and every day that you don't do it you are disgusted because you're just like I'm supposed to be on that peloton and I'm not sponsored by peloton. I wish I was. I'm putting that into the universe. Peloton, sponsor me. You are supposed to go run that trail. Run that track. Walk that track. You're supposed to modify your diet, right? Every time you don't do it, you feel a sense of disgust because you set a goal for yourself that you didn't meet. And if you're blessed with another day, you make the same decision, and you're disgusted with yourself because you didn't do it. Now, one day you look in the mirror and you just can't take it anymore. You've gotten to a point where you realize how necessary it is for you to finally get on that treadmill. And then one day you go to the gym. If you have one at home. You go to your workout space and you look at the treadmill and you say, this is too hard. And you walk away. You fail. And it's hard because when you get to the treadmill, you think about how much work it's going to take. I got to get on the treadmill. I got to press all the buttons, do the warm up, then really get into the cardio, then cool down. I'm going to be sweaty. I got to take a shower. I got to wash my hair. All these things, right? But you want to be in shape, and it's not going to magically happen, so you got to do something. So one day, out of the blue, you decide to take a walk. And that walk is a very refreshing walk. And you feel good about yourself because at least you got out there and you did. And because you took that walk, the next day, you decided to take a walk again. And this time you walk a little further. You feel really good after you take that walk. So the next day you say, you know what? Maybe I'll get on that treadmill. Because you're starting to make a habit of making better decisions. You actually follow through. And you get on the treadmill and you realize it was never as hard as you made it out to be from the beginning. And you stick with that until you start to see tangible and physical results. And about a month later, you look in the mirror and you're just like, ****, I'm looking a little good. And you start to love who you are, and you appreciate the way you look because you worked hard for it. That's how love works with us. Sometimes you have to put in the effort if you really want to receive the true value behind it. It's true. I'm going to go back to the example that I gave in the beginning of this conversation about the guy. I'm going to be honest and admit that I gave this dude a whole lot of love and he didn't do nearly as much work as he should have done. But my thing is this have grace for yourself and have grace for others. Just because I have an understanding of what love is for me, and I have a healthy sense of self worth. I realized after the fact that I wasn't dealing with a person who reciprocated that. And yes, he's at an age where it is now his responsibility to heal himself. But sometimes that healing work is so hard to do. And not everybody is at a place where they can genuinely embark upon that journey in the moment, and that's okay. But at some point in time, we all have to do this work. We can't tie up superficial self validation and then confuse that with having done the work. The self worth work is deep, dark, shadowy, murky work. It is acknowledgments about ourselves. It is acknowledging the secrets that nobody knows about us. It is acknowledging the habits that we have that people would never guess are tied to us is breaking addictions. It can be something big or something small, but it's yours to work through, right? And you are worthy of the work. It's just that fear sometimes. Oh, man. And it's that toxic shame. Some people got some things with them now. But I still believe through all of this that we owe it to ourselves to give ourselves grace because we've made it thus far. We might not have done everything the perfect way, but it's taken a lot for us to even survive life this far because it's hard out here for all of us. And then you got the propaganda from society. You got folks and entities and groups trying to tell you how to think and tell you what to believe. And we're measuring ourselves based off of this false sense of superficial being. No, start at the spiritual level. Really become one with who you are, which means you have to kind of know. And some people don't even know. Some people have really allowed society to guide their thoughts about what they are worth and who they are, which is scary. That's a very scary place. You have people who lie to themselves every day and then we have this expectation that they're going to tell us the truth. You know, that's not about to happen. And maybe we need to consider these facts of life when thinking about self worth, starting with ourselves, actually, am I honest with myself every day when I wake up in the morning and it's just me? It's just me and me. Me and my creator, me and my spirit guides. What are we talking about? And do we even talk? Is the first thing you do in the morning check is check your social media. Start by trying to change that habit. How about waking up in the morning and acknowledging the fact that you were gifted another day? Whether it be raining, whether the sun is shining and it's beautiful, just a simple waking up to acknowledging the gift of life is phenomenal. Gratitude will take you far in this self worth journey. Because it's easy to forget what you have, because we're always busy chasing the next thing. And if you do that, you risk losing everything you've already worked for. Because at some point in time you were hoping for what you currently have. And now that you have it, you don't appreciate it because you're trying to get the next best thing. I'm guilty of this, I'll be the first to admit. Sometimes I worry myself so much about how my next step is going to look that I forget that I have the capability to walk. And I'm good right now, but I always want more. And there's nothing wrong with forward planning, but just sometimes ground yourself because you can get lost really quickly if you don't. It's essential to your mental well being that you honor where you are. And a lot of the answers that you need are found right where you are if you just stop and pay attention. The goal of propaganda when I say propaganda, I'm talking about salesmanship, selling ideas, selling products, selling services, all of these things that are just very toxic in many ways. They take you farther and farther away from yourself and they have you believing in things that can never fulfill you. But you keep pumping money into a system that makes you believe that it can solve all of your problems. It cannot. And that's why so many people feel empty inside, because they are. They're feeding into things that don't necessarily reciprocate what they need back to them. And I feel sorry. I feel so bad. I don't feel sorry. I feel so bad for this current generation of children growing up in the social media era because they don't even have soft skills. They don't have interpersonal skills. They can't even communicate outside of a phone or a tablet or a computer. They don't know how to have conversation anymore. And I wonder with them sometimes, what must their internal conversations be like? Because who taught them the art of conversation? Conversing is an art. It's an art form. It really is. And it's critical. It's a critical life skill. Because how you learn how to communicate is how you speak to yourself. And we should be speaking to ourselves kindly, not harshly. We shouldn't be overly critical of ourselves. We should be accepting and grateful for who we are and the gifts that we have. But if we're not listening to our spirits, if we don't understand how to recognize the core of who we are as a human being, then what are we doing? Your self worth journey and the work associated with it, with it, will only be as easy as you are willing to acknowledge yourself, acknowledge your flaws, and also acknowledge your greatnesses. Right? It's not all about us not doing well. You have to acknowledge the things you're good at and be okay with that. So before I leave you today, I would like to offer you some affirmations. It is my offering to you, one spirit to the next. This is what I really wanted to do for people. Anybody who finds this podcast, I just want you to know that there is no such thing as a coincidence. You were meant to come into this space at this moment in time, and I was meant to be in a position right now where I can send you so much healing energy and the brightest, warmest, most healing light that I can send to you. That is my deepest desire for everyone whom this podcast will reach. It is my hope and desire and prayer that it reaches who it needs to reach, when it needs to reach it. Because I offer you gifts of abundance in any way, in shape and form imaginable, but only in the best ways possible. Abundance in income, increase in positivity, increase in peace, increase in happiness, increase in joy. And I ask for healing for any of the situations that come to disturb you and your journey to your higher self. And may all of the negative influences that you have reveal themselves. May you acknowledge them and then may they fall away. May there be a path made for you so that you can see your purpose, and then may doors open that will help you fulfill what that purpose is. May you have the courage you need to chase your dreams. May you have the courage you need to understand that your dreams are worth attaining and that you are worthy enough to be the one to achieve that thing and that that thing, there's nothing too big or nothing too small. If it's yours and if it was placed on your heart and if it's placed in your soul, then it is everything that it needs to be for you in this moment. For people who are working through depression, I really send them balancing energy, and that the anxiety and the worry that they have subside, because the issues that bother these particular people, let there be peaceful resolution. Let there be resolution in such a way where these people won't be overwhelmed. And I know what that feels like, believe me. Trying to see who else. I'm just trying to get a feeling. People who have children, small kids, adults, it doesn't matter. Everybody is somebody's child. For parental relationships, I send healing energy for these parental relationships and trauma, especially trauma, deeply traumatized individuals at the hands of parental care or lack thereof. I pray for healing for them. Actually, I send a lot of healing energy for people who suffer through parental trauma because that is a trauma that is so debilitating sometimes people don't know how to grow past that. And I just send the knowledge and the wisdom and the understanding for the greater collective to be able to surmount any challenge at this point. Because sometimes we just need to be freed from our own ignorances to just give us that 1 second of clarity that we need to make things make sense so that we can move forward and not backward or not stay stagnant and stay the same. I am so happy that you all joined me today for this conversation. I'm even more excited that I got to send you some really good focused energy and I thank you so much for tuning in. Give a listen to the other podcast, the other episodes that is and if you want to support the show, click the link in the bio. Thank you so much. I appreciate you for all that you are. I think you are worthy. I love you and I send you loving energy. Until next time.